Being homeless doesn't mean you are a bludger

Shared from Kath's mobile phone which is her lifeline to the world at large.

 

People often say that Twitter can be a nasty place, full of trolls or people yelling into an echo chamber.  Yes that element is there, in fact it can often feel like we are back in the school playground with all the factions, trendy kids, those on the sidelines and the silly drama’s that build up into major combat, often started through misunderstanding or just because one person is having a bad day and took a tweet the wrong way.  You also get the scams & alter-ego’s that can catch out the less wary, though thankfully, this platform seems to be less vulnerable to that than others.

The other side of Twitter is that you often get to meet people that due to your work or family/social circle you would not necessarily come into contact with.  I have met quite a few of the people I chat to on twitter.  Each time I have thoroughly enjoyed it, some are now very good friends who I know I can rely on to help in ‘real’ life as they say ;-)

One person I have met & had her famous ‘BBQ’, is Kath.  Both an enjoyable & educational afternoon for me & I thank Kath for her hospitality.  We will most definitely be partaking of it again.

Now as many on Twitter know, Kath is homeless.  To be quite frank, if you don’t normally have anything to do with Social Services or personal experience of homelessness it can be rather intimidating.  Sadly homelessness is something that even the kindest people prefer not to  be confronted with, normally it is not because they have no empathy, just that they don’t have a clue & it is an issue that is ‘too hard’ for the vast majority of us.

Homelessness comes in all sorts of forms.  It really depends on your own personal experience as to what homeless is.  I will not pretend to be an expert on the issue.  I’m not.  I am still trying to get my head around it too.  Read more at "Homelessness in Australia" if you would like to become more informed, though I still feel that really only scratches the surface.  What I do know is that too many without any knowledge at all feel they can judge people in these situations.  I find it truly hard to comprehend when I see so many ‘normally’ caring people who support many causes, just having no empathy what-so-ever for a homeless person?

What I do know after spending a very pleasant afternoon with Kath is that she is no bludger.  If Kath could physically work, she would be on the job in a shot and it is not all about the money.  It is also a matter of pride for a woman who has been working for decades in some pretty hard-core jobs.  Believe me, I think it is pretty safe to say that Kath is not afraid of hard work.  She is someone who has just had some really bad luck and is currently caught in a vicious cycle.  She has old injuries that have gotten worse that she needs urgent surgery for, so she can’t work.  Kath is also living in an area with limited resources available to help.  Though having said that, the few that can, do help, but they are limited in what they can help with.   Maybe if Kath was to move to Brisbane then she might be able to get shelter, though she would no longer be in a familiar environment that she is intimate with, nor be in close contact with her GP & Specialists who she has a long established relationship with.

Another issue is that Kath has had some bad experiences with Shelters & Shared Accommodation.  I could be wrong, though I got the impression she just does not feel safe in that environment & to be brutally honest, from some of the stories I have heard, I don’t blame her.  Kath lives in her car, this gives her the ability to have a roof – of sorts – over her head, though also the security that she can move if she feels threatened.  Most of us who have kids would be stressed to think of them being out all night in normal circumstances, so I can comprehend why Kath likes to have that control of being able to take herself out of a potentially dangerous situation and why she prefers to live in her car.

Kath’s car is her home and I was stoked to see @pompomgrafix set up a @Pozible for Kath, “Kath is homeless and needs help” to help raise funds for Kath, specifically for her car.  Actually, after meeting Kath I was so surprised to see this.  When I met Kath, we discussed a few options the whole idea of any crowd-sourced help like this was horrifying for her, she has quite a bit of pride & the idea of being a “beggar or charity case” (her words) was not a goer.  So thanks to @pompomgrafix for taking the matter out of her hands, well done mate!

All Kath really wants in regard to her online world is to be able to stay in contact with the world at large so as to not be so alienated & to write her blog, encouraging understanding of homelessness, sharing her sunrise & sunset photos'and of course her great BBQ 'foodie' pics.  Seriously though, if you could see her face when she relates a story of someone she has talked with after they had read her blog - I won’t embarrass her by relating any stories here – and she could empathise with them & help to talk them out of a tight spot, you would understand the joy & purpose it gives her.

Kath is not by any means a Saint.  I'm pretty sure she would be the first to tell you that.  Like the rest of us, she has her quirks (ie any swearing, talk of drugs etc.), she can also jump to offence rather quickly, sadly the forum of twitter with it’s limited characters can exacerbate that miscommunication.  Pretty sure tweeting on a phone in a outdoor setting as she does, probably doesn’t help this situation either.  On the flipside, instead of being a ‘poor me’ type, she is actually trying to highlight the issues of homelessness in our backyard.  Kath’s honest blog is illuminating and I can tell you now, I would have been better off giving Kath 20 bucks to buy our BBQ lunch then me supplying the food, as she would have done a better job of it than I did. She is great on that BBQ!

Memo to Noely:  Yeah... someone living in a car can’t store butter without a fridge DOH! ;-)

What surprised me most about Kath was beyond her rough exterior was a woman who has an awful lot of empathy, caring about others, not begrudging those who have a better life than her.  Of course she gets her back up when she is looked down upon, though she also appreciates the small things like giving a tidbit she keeps over from her late lunch (the one meal a day she has) for the regular dog who walks by in the afternoon.  I wonder how many of us in a similar situation would be happy to sacrifice even a tiny bit of our meal to have that lovely sort of social interaction with a dog & it’s owners on a regular basis?

She is doing the best she can in a bad situation, so if you can help, please do.  From my personal experience spending an afternoon with her & to use a mates term, Kath is a good stick!

cheers,

Noely

You can help Kath here at “Kath is homeless and needs help”, even a few bucks will help get that car fridge so I don’t look stupid offering to leave the butter next time ;-)

Posted 21 March, 2014 by Noely on her blog

Meet My Friend Kath

I met Kath on Twitter when she was hosting the @homelessinMelbourne account as a guest curator.  I responded to a few of the things she tweeted and we started a conversation.  It was around this time she started her own twitter account @kathhomeless, so I started to follow that too.
Kath is a 52 year old, homeless woman who lives out of her car in Queensland.  She tweets about the problems of being homeless, how one lives in a car, tweets the stories of her life and how she ended up homeless (and it’s not a simple story), shares photos of her home cooking (and it looks pretty tasty), and beautiful sunsets and sunrises.

Sunrise photo by Kath

Kath also has a blog, which initially was put together by one of Kath’s other followers, giving Kath an opportunity to collate her stories, share information with others, and host her great photos (so you don’t have to be up at sunrise to see the great shots).
Because this is the internet, and people are cynical, doubting arsehats, Kath cops a fair amount of abuse on Twitter, with some people claiming she’s only on Twitter to beg for money (which she’s never done in my interactions with her), that she’s lying about being homeless, that she’s homeless by choice, or that she’s lying about all the things she’s done or had happen to her in the past which has resulted in her current situation.
If you really feel it’s your place to do due diligence while reading a person’s story, perhaps you should be asking what your motivations are and who made you ruler of other people’s lives.
Kath’s most recent blog post calls for an understanding of homelessness:

The last few days have been quite draining for me trying to explain my situation to people that just don’t understand or think they do but don’t! I have been attacked by people that don’t care and think homelessness is a joke and is not real. They think it is my choice to be homeless or I choose to live this way. They have no idea of the reality of homelessness. They have never experienced it and probably never will. They have led a sheltered life away from the real harsh world. They do not understand how it can happen to people and blame me for being that way. They do not know any facts and really don’t care to find out the truth as they really don’t want to be involved with it. They question my answers to their questions and ridicule me on my comments. I try my best to be polite and help them understand what homelessness involves but they don’t care to listen. About the closest they will ever get to homelessness if the cross the street if they see a homeless person or do a sleep out which I call a camping adventure to act as if they care of to promote themselves that they are involved in a cause. It is a shame that they do not even want to understand such a major problem in Australia but why should they after all we choose to live this way. How can anyone end up homeless? It must have been my fault. I try to explain to them to read my blog and comments on twitter and maybe help them to understand my situation but they do not even do that. They are to ready to ridicule and simply don’t care enough to find out the fact. If they did it would problem raise emotions they have never and probably never will and make a fool of them for being so abrupt and uncaring. So I say to all of them good luck.
…
Many of my followers think that is easy and they can help me with my homelessness. Many have tried to help me by contacting charity organisations or government organisations including local MP members without my knowledge. After they do they contact me and their reaction is shock horror now they understand why I am homeless. I say to all don’t bother. No one can help as their is no housing. A shortage of housing is the problem simple. A MP or a charity just cant pull out a room or unit or house out of the air. I wish all would understand this. I have so many that try to tell me what to do with good intentions but they just don’t understand that I already have. I spent the first 6 months in Brisbane searching for answers. I learnt a lot about how the government deal with homelessness and how the charities and organisations spend there funding. It became a bit of a game for me. Gave me something to do researching all of this. No going on the housing list will not work. Yes I am injured but not disabled. No I am not a priority and will not get prioritised because I am sleeping in my car. In fact most don’t recognise me as homeless because I have a car and I am not sleeping under a bridge or a park.

Poverty is rising in Australia, which means that those who are homeless are going to remain that way, and that more people will be at risk of homelessness.

The OECD finds that poverty is rising in Australia with the number of those living in poverty accounting for 14.4 per cent of the population, compared to the OECD average of 11.3 per cent.
…
But Professor Whiteford, from the Australian National University in Canberra, says it does reveal some concerns within Australia.”We’ve got a lot of issues we need to address in Australia, and I think there are some obvious ones, like unemployment’s deteriorated over the past year or so. And there seems to be, particularly, problems of increasing proportions of young people who are neither in employment, education or training.”

What can we do about homelessness?  We can help those we know are homeless by giving them a couple of dollars when we see them.  Short-term accommodation is very expensive, not to mention quite risky as you end up living without a safety net or somewhere to store your belongings.  It is not our job to judge how people spend money once we give it to them, and it is not our job to pre-judge people’s spending intents and avoid giving them money because you believe they may not spend it in a way you agree with.
How can you help Kath?  Well another one of her followers set up a Pozible campaign in order to be able to buy her a new car fridge so she can keep her required medication close to hand.  Excess money will go towards much needed surgery and/or a camper van if possible.  If you have a couple of spare dollars handy, then I fully recommend this Pozible campaign.
Homelessness is a complex issue with no simple answers.  People who are homeless have often ended up that way through a collection of misfortune and, despite what our great Prime Minister Tones says, no one chooses to be homeless.  Helping those who are less fortunate than ourselves is not only what good people do, it’s necessary when the Governments of the day are likely to reduce the current level of Newstart allowance because they want to abolish the Mining Tax.

The chief executive of the Australian Council of Social Service, Cassandra Goldie, sought to broaden the debate over the consequences of the mining tax repeal legislation.
“In addition to assistance for the children of veterans, the government is proposing to abolish a range of measures which provide much needed assistance to low-income households, on the pretext that they are linked to the minerals resource rent tax,” Goldie said.
“This includes a $4 a week supplement for people struggling to cope on the $36 a day Newstart allowance, now widely recognised as grossly inadequate. The supplement is the only real increase in the Newstart allowance in 20 years. In this context, taking away this meagre increase from those already in hardship is unconscionable.”

Kath, and everyone else on Newstart is doing it hard, and when we can help them out, we should as good fellow citizens and as good people.  Some of this will be lobbying MPs, some will be working with charities to provide services, goods or food to people in need, some of this will be direct cash hand outs, and some of this will be educating others about the fact that homelessness is not simple, and is worth more than a sound-bite or some CEOs sleeping in nice sleeping bags one night a year.
We can do better as a nation and as people by looking after the vulnerable members of our society.

Posted 20 March, 2014 by Bec on her blog

UNDERSTANDING HOMELESSNESS IN AUSTRALIA


The last few days have been quite draining for me trying to explain my situation to people that just don't understand or think they do but don't! I have been attacked by people that don't care and think homelessness is a joke and is not real. They think it is my choice to be homeless or I choose to live this way. They have no idea of the reality of homelessness. They have never experienced it and probably never will. They have led a sheltered life away from the real harsh world. They do not understand how it can happen to people and blame me for being that way. They do not know any facts and really don't care to find out the truth as they really don't want to be involved with it. They question my answers to their questions and ridicule me on my comments. I try my best to be polite and help them understand what homelessness involves but they don't care to listen. About the closest they will ever get to homelessness if the cross the street if they see a homeless person or do a sleep out which I call a camping adventure to act as if they care of to promote themselves that they are involved in a cause. It is a shame that they do not even want to understand such a major problem in Australia but why should they after all we choose to live this way. How can anyone end up homeless? It must have been my fault. I try to explain to them to read my blog and comments on twitter and maybe help them to understand my situation but they do not even do that. They are to ready to ridicule and simply don't care enough to find out the fact. If they did it would problem raise emotions they have never and probably never will and make a fool of them for being so abrupt and uncaring. So I say to all of them good luck. You are the people that just don't know that you just don't know and karma lives. God help you if yourself or one of your friends ever find themselves that way but they would turn there back on them anyway. They are selfish self centred human beings and I am glad not to be associated with any of them on my twitter. If they ever found themselves in that position they would fall down. They would crawl in a ball. They would not survive. They would end up alcoholics if they are not already taking anti depressants if they are not already and simply crumble. I myself would step over them as they would do to me. I am caring and understanding and try my best but truly they deserve it so why help them.

I have spoken to so many people that have opened up to me in the last few weeks it is fantastic. Many have or know people that have been homeless. I hear so many different versions it is amazing how common it is. People that have lost their jobs, family members, housing due to bills, deaths, or as a youth or in their younger years. But all I have spoken to have recovered from it. I am having trouble doing that at the moment because of having car problems, money stolen from me, health and car insurance costs and general living car expense. It is very hard to do on newstart. People do not want people that don't work or a struggling in their share accommodation and if so it is quite unaffordable if you are not employed. Many will say well others are doing it. Yes many are they are sharing houses together or living with a pensioner or family. I myself do not want to share a house full of people on the dole just as people do not want to share with me so this is another reason I am homeless.

Many of my followers think that is easy and they can help me with my homelessness. Many have tried to help me by contacting charity organisations or government organisations including local MP members without my knowledge. After they do they contact me and their reaction is shock horror now they understand why I am homeless. I say to all don't bother. No one can help as their is no housing. A shortage of housing is the problem simple. A MP or a charity just cant pull out a room or unit or house out of the air. I wish all would understand this. I have so many that try to tell me what to do with good intentions but they just don't understand that I already have. I spent the first 6 months in Brisbane searching for answers. I learnt a lot about how the government deal with homelessness and how the charities and organisations spend there funding. It became a bit of a game for me. Gave me something to do researching all of this. No going on the housing list will not work. Yes I am injured but not disabled. No I am not a priority and will not get prioritised because I am sleeping in my car. In fact most don't recognise me as homeless because I have a car and I am not sleeping under a bridge or a park

So I am getting some facts and figures together for you all that would like to know the truth or homelessness and not the fantasy of it which I will post when I have them.

So for all those that don't know that they just don't know I hope this helps explain a little bit. I will update it  I am sure but at the moment just wanted a few to read to help them understand.

And like I have said please play homeless for a week. Ring up the homeless lines the charities the govt organisations and see for yourself what is happening the real world than let me know because I would love to be the one that just not know that I just don't know

TIPS ON LIVING IN A CAR

When you are living in your car it is really important to keep it in order. Everything has a place and it should become a habit of always returning a item to the same place. Except when you have Gremlins that move things around lol. Quite often you may be looking for things in the dark. You may not be able to turn the interior light on as it will attract attention that you are sleeping in it. It certainly helps when you can retrieve items by feel and not sight.

I have two  bags for cooking. I call them my kitchen bags. They are just cooler bags that you buy from supermarkets. One has my breakfast items in it which include coffee, sugar, uht milk, a  kettle, teaspoon, butter knife, plate, coffee mug, a container that has tea bags and various sugar, jam satchels in it and course my vegemite. I keep a water bottle in it also to clean the bbq after I make toast. I have a bbq metal spatula that I keep mainly in my dinner bag for cleaning. The other my dinner bag has my a knife a steak knife a fork, spoon a plate, chopping board, cutting knife, potato peeler, can opener, a roll of foil and cling wrap, a chux for cleaning and wiping, paper towels, salt and pepper garlic salt, tongs and the spatula and water bottle for cleaning. I find this is sufficient. I keep these on the front seat of my car and place my butane burner on the floor of the car.

In the far back of my car I have a tub that contains one small saucepan and lid one saucepan steamer set a small frypan a cast iron frypan a container of spare cutlery a spare plate and big bowl freezer bags spare chux and empty containers and spare butane gas when I have them.

I carry a spare bag of toiletries containing small items collected from many motel stays over the years in case I run out and when able and toiletries are on special I try to buy a few and place in this bag. I keep this behind my front seat of the car. I also have my shower bag that I use everyday but that lives on the front seat with my kitchen bags. Also behind the back seats on the floor are my food bag than contains my tin packet food etc and a bag that contains spare car items like fuel cap oils when I have them and so forth.

I have 2 suitcases of clothes I have thrown all that don't fit into my car. One contains my everyday clothes and the other winter and workwear. I have all of my boots under my front seats and also have a fire extinguisher a first aid kit and a torch stored there.

There is another tub that contains personal papers so forth in the far back of the car along with my computer monitor and laptops in a washing basket. All my cleaning products are stored in a net next to these. Also a little 3 man tent which I have not used as I feel sleeping in the car is safer.

This is all i have left now i have had to throw all my possessions as they simply didnt fit and are only of materilistic value anyhow.

It is important to keep your windows down a fraction at night when sleeping as condensation builds up and this can cause major problems with the electrical system in a car.

I clean my car everyday with a handbroom and shake mats my quilt pillows. It is suprising how much dust gathers in the car. I also wipe it all down inside. I go around the outside of it with the handbroom and wipe of any bird or bat poo or marks. It is hard for me to wash my car but i find the rain generally does a good job.

And ladies don't forget that roll of toilet paper!

Hopefully anybody will not have to use these tips but for those that do have to I hope this helps a little bit.

My Kitchen Rules

Many people have asked me how it is possible to cook between $2-$5 for most of my meals. I have posted photos of my meals and people are impressed. In fact I have had a few that have doubted me so have posted photo and receipts  - so there! Ha ha. Not that I should have to, but I suppose I am proving a point. I don't like being doubted on anything. 

I have been told I should publish a cook book for the needy and once upon a time I was going to do. I spoke to the salvos about it years ago. How to survive and feed a family on a voucher. It just never eventuated. 

Here is a yummy salad and chicken I made for $3.40

After my accidents, and I say accidents (plural) as I have only spoken about one - there is more to tell so stay tuned! 

Anyway, I was doing it quite tough raising a school-age child as a single parent on the pension, paying rent, electricity, car running costs and not being able to work. Geez the only thing that has changed is house expenses and child costs. My car running costs are a lot more and medical expenses health insurance are there too - I am managing this all on newstart. And people say to me "why cant you get a home?"... well!

Anyway, I have always been a healthy cook. I eat fresh when I can. The only tin food I would have would be baked beans, tuna, soups and usually tomatoes for spaghetti. I have travelled a lot and learnt how to cook on open fire places and bbqs and butane burners. Butane is great - it is quick and cheap. You can cook vegies on it and they stay hot in the pot while you cook your meat next or use a bbq. Meanwhile all these meals have been prepared on a bbq hotplate. 

I usually cook my vegies in foil with a little bit of water and sprinkle of garlic salt. Because I cant keep butter I use canola margarine as it keeps and it is not too bad. It evaporates on the bbq but leaves enough residue to moisten enough for the food not to stick. I miss butter badly though. I have never used margarine before in my life. I would only use butter for mashed potatoes and love frying steak in it nice flavour and baking cakes or biscuits for my child. 

Lately I have been cooking my vegies directly on the hotplate they get slightly burnt and I like the flavour like a roast. I have always liked slightly burnt carrots in a roast anyway. 

People have said to me please don't burn your vegies, it causes stomach cancer but I figure I am not over the top with it and I have sucked my coal dust into my system than I have eaten burnt vegies. 

I posted my dinner photos on my twitter account simply because I was bored to start off with and thought one day after I started my homeless account - hey why not put on my dinners so people can see how I eat? Never thinking I was going to get the reaction I did with people going 'wow' or 'your kidding - all for that cost, amazing'.

Not really that amazing, it's easy. 

Quite simply, when I have the money, I eat fresh-cooked food and I am healthy and happy because of it.

Codeine

This post was written and uploaded to the Blog by Kath
 
I do not take drugs. I take thyroxine for my thyroid, which is a life-long medicine. I do not class it as a drug as such. I guess I make the distinction between drugs and medication. I am not talking about illegal drugs, I mean painkillers. This kind of drug use and abuse is a touchy subject with me - I hate them. Too many addictive prescription drugs are given out these days without proper explanation. If the consequences were known there would be a whole lot less suffering. I know that from experience.

Many people take a drug such as codeine, which is so readily available, and then stop taking it and don't realise they are addicted until its too late. Recovery is nasty. Codeine is found in cold and flu tablets – this is only a band-aid and I don't think it fixes the cold.

Echinacea
 I take Echinacea supplements with vitamin c, zinc and garlic to prevent getting a cold or flu. When I worked in the mines, flus were common in winter amongst night shift workers. The young guys would take codral  - and get a legal high. I cured many a team member with my specialty Echinacea. I always had them handy, and a spare bottle in my crib bag. Once flu got to one member of the team, it would spread through the heating systems in the crib huts like wildfire. Whoever had the flu would be disliked. We would always be told if you have flu stay at camp. The bus was a major source of infection too. As soon as I picked up on it I would give the latest patient 4 Echinacea then another 4 at both smokos and another 12 for the next day to take at 4-hour intervals. I tell you the next night they would be much better. It works! It became a big bill to keep the supply up, but I was making good money and it was keeping us healthy. I saved many a shutdown at a mine from running over the time allocated by keeping my crew healthy and fit for work.

The reason I am anti codeine is because after my hit and run accident, I became addicted to it. Now, when I have operations I cannot take painkillers. The morphine has bad enough side effects on me for days. Shaking and jitters and stomach cramps.

When I left the hospital after my hit and run I was prescribed panadeine forte and valium. I soon became immune to them and was taking a packet of each per day. I also drank alcohol, the three combined was the only way I could be pain free. No-one had told me they were addictive. I was naive to drugs, I never thought to question what I was given until one morning I woke up shaking so bad that I dropped my pills down the sink. I simply could not hold them.

I knew something was wrong.. I didn't know what was going on so I raced to my doctor. I told him what I did to the last of the tablets. He said "Did you get a tool and try to undo the sink - after all you are a junkie." I was lost for words. I had been his patient for years and was seeing him most days. I slapped him and said, "How dare you." I reported him. Since then he has been disqualified. Pill doctors are a lower class of human. I was then put on the codeine registrar. I had to go to the chemist every morning to get my hit. It was a disgusting feeling.

I would be waiting for the Chemist to open shaking and crying - withdrawals make you cry a lot. They would usher me in and give me 30mg codeine. And I would have to go back every 4 hours get another dose and one for the evening.  By the morning I would be in withdrawal state. It was terrible.

I couldn't handle it I didn't know what was going on. I had no idea. I was suffering from Valium withdrawal too. I just didn't put two and two together. I was as skinny as a rake. When I see photos now of that time, I can't believe it was me.

One night I went out and my drink was spiked with Rohypnol. The man who did it has since been jailed. He was drugging girls and raping them. I was lucky I was strong and didn't pass out so he could do what he planned. I felt funny and got a taxi home. The taxi driver knew me well, he said "big night Kath?" and I replied "Must have been." He helped me inside. I fell into bed.

I woke up vomiting. I was choking and gasping for breath. I tried to stand up and I hit the floor. I slid myself to the phone and rang 000. I was out cold when the ambulance got there. They smashed my door in and took me to hospital. In emergency they tested me and found the drug in my system. My blood-sugar level was dangerously low too. I weighed 42 kilos and I'm normally 68 in a good year.

A kind nurse cared for me and told me I was addicted to codeine. She explained that I would be admitted to detox and cured. I was shocked - me a druggie, a junkie - no way. When she saw the look on my face she said "You have no idea have you dear?" I was crying, I said no. She cuddled me and said its ok we will help you. I agreed to be admitted.

Detox is a terrible place full of a lot of people who don't want to be helped. The druggies save their dole money whilst they are in there, and when they get out they are cashed up to buy more drugs. Well the ones I saw were anyway.

I was sat down to watch a video on codeine. Did you know codeine can take up to four years to get out of your system? Heroin is a cleaner drug apparently and doesn't take that long to get out of your system. It's crazy. I was shocked.

I couldn't handle it in detox, so after discussing my options with they let me go home after 3 days. They explained how hard it was going to be, that I would get horror stomach cramps, nightmares and diarrhea. I knew I could do it. I could go back into the detox unit if I couldn't handle it at home. I really didn't want to be in that place - it was hell. The next 3 months was a nightmare. I had the sweats, when I drifted off to sleep. Many a sheet was dirtied - it was disgusting. The blue nurses would pop in everyday to see if I was ok - god bless them. I was determined. I managed to do it - yahoo. I felt so good, so clean I had eliminated that evil from my body. I started to gain weight and eat again - it felt good. So ever since I won't, can't and don't touch codeine or addictive substances. Please let this be a warning next time you reach for a pill.

After my last operation on my elbow I told the staff that I could not take codeine. I slept all afternoon in the day surgery. This hospital trip turned into an overnighter and cost me another $200. I was groggy after the operation and the nurse asked about my level of pain on a scale of one to ten.  I said 10 and she sat me up and slipped 2 pills in my mouth I found out they were endones. Not a good idea if they wanted me out that night. The nurses were trying to wake me up and throw me out as they do in day surgery. I refused kept on going back to sleep. Eventually when I found out endones I got quite angry with them. I said leave me alone I am a private patient ok. Let me sleep. They tried to get me up and I couldn't not stand up. Just kept dozing off. Eventually they realised they were not going to get rid of me and moved me to a private room. They could not understand why I was so groggy. I said because of the morphine and endones geez. They didn't believe me and tested me. Two nursed helped me up to a wheelie toilet and tested my urine. They honestly thought that I was taking drugs and couldn't believe it when it came back clear only the endones. The effect on any drugs is major on me my body simply cant take it much more. When I had my hit and run they were injecting morphine into me every few hours. My stomach was so bruised and eventually they had to use other places. It hurt to turn over my arm was sort of slinged up and I was broken so they started injecting between my toes and on my feet Not a nice feeling. So now after I have a operation the after affects are not nice. I shake for days and get after affects like depression anxiety etc. 

After the operation on my arm and in my car my thyroid tablets were off. They are supposed to be kept in the fridge and my car fridge broke down.  I was tired, had no money and I was living in my car. I became suicidal. The police brought me to hospital. The hospital couldn't fit me in, so they put me in a psych ward to recover. There, I was filled up with pills - but I didn't know. I hate those places.That was my first and last time in a psych ward. It was a bed, the food was great, I needed rest. I was thrown out on my next centrelink payday because I am sane and didn’t need to be there according to the doctors.

I didn't realise until after I left how much I was addicted again and I had a horror week. I rang up the police and they took me back to the hospital but I was not admitted since there was nothing wrong with me. I was told by the nurse "if you're going to commit suicide don't hurt anyone. If you cut your wrists you will be bandaged up, if you overdose you will go to detox horror show - so don't bother. Others need the bed she said." I sat out in front of the hospital in tears feeling so alone.

I had to catch the bus to my car. I slept on the bus, shaking with bad stomach cramps and needing to go to the toilet. Nightmare. I got back to my car got onto twitter and did a @homelessinmelbourne guest spot. It kept me going … as the telling of my stories on the blog does now. Telling people about homelessness has made me strong. I'm sure the nurse said what she said to me on purpose - to give me fight. It was the wrong thing to say to me when I was so distraught, but it worked.

Monday sunrises

It is really weird taking photos today - the sun seems to be up in sky then goes down again. I guess it is the reflection. I was just talking to another lady taking photos too and she said the same.